


Break me, Shake me

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 15:12:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14523360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Yuto was getting confused by the thousands sensations he was feeling.He felt himself being touched and kissed, and all he wanted was to relinquish himself to those arms, letting himself being taken and nothing else. Closing his eyes, listening that breath on him, feeling desired and desire in turn.





	Break me, Shake me

Yuto was getting confused by the thousands sensations he was feeling.

He felt himself being touched and kissed, and all he wanted was to relinquish himself to those arms, letting himself being taken and nothing else. Closing his eyes, listening that breath on him, feeling desired and desire in turn.

He had burned in his mind each and every time he had been with Keito.

He thought about the touch of his hands on his skin, he kept thinking about it in a vicious circle of emotions, and that added up to his want, to his urge.

He rested his back against the wall, pulling the elder on him, letting him kiss him in a rush and starting to undress him, fast, while he did the same with him.

“Yuto...” he murmured, as if to ask him to take this slow, but Nakajima had no intention of complying.

He didn’t want to miss the moment when all he could think about was his arousal, he didn’t want to risk to lose and having to deal with things he didn’t want to face, he didn’t want to...

He smiled, feigning a mischief he didn’t own, and he went slowly with his mouth on the other’s chest, lower and lower, playing with his tongue against his skin until he reached his cock, wrapping his lips around it, leaving no room for useless teasing.

Keito had always liked this impatience from him, his being straightforward and practical; it used to embarrass him at first, but in the end he had grown accustomed to it, and had given in to the younger’s ways, finding them more than pleasant.

Yuto didn’t have much room for manoeuvre, which was what he was expecting.

The other tightened his hand on his head, thrusting into his mouth, almost using him; it didn’t last long, and then he forced him to stand, pushing him against the couch, bending him over the backrest.

Yuto felt him stop, he knew he was watching him, and he liked having those eyes on.

He felt desired, loved. And right now it was all he needed.

The elder leant over him, slowly kissing his back, while his hand travelled between his legs and to his entrance, starting to prepare him carefully; and as much as he wanted to complain about the pace, Yuto let him take the initiative.

He felt him getting closer with his mouth to his fingers, and when his tongue pierced him he moaned out loud, clawing the upholstery with his nails, clenching his eyes and pushing against him, in the constant search for something more.

And he didn’t have to wait long; when the elder deemed him to be ready he got back on his feet, grabbing his hips hard, almost hurting him.

And then he thrust inside of him, with a blunt shove.

Yuto felt the pain, but it was fine. It was what he was looking for, it was what he wanted from him, what his gestures and the teasing from that night were leading to.

He needed to feel his body hurt, because only like that he would’ve forgotten how hurt he felt his mind, his soul. 

He felt him pull out slowly and then drive into him again, and then again and again, in a continuous movement, deep, almost violent in its vehemence.

And he moaned low and alternated chocked screams to those same moans, and demanded for him to give him more, never saying his name, never asking directly, aware that it would’ve only made things worse.

And yet Keito liked it when he called his name during sex, while he took him and could feel the arousal and the want in his tone, and so Yuto always complied.

Not that night, not right now. Not anymore.

And he felt he should’ve at least made an effort, and kissing the hand that right now was nourishing him, coddle it and make it so that it would’ve stayed with him, without being forced to feel alone, abandoned. Because he knew how the other felt, but he was so damn selfish that he managed not to care.

He didn’t have the courage not the strength for it, and most of all he didn’t want to feed that hypocrisy that was already drenching him.

With the touch of the elder on his cock he forced himself to come – an unsatisfying orgasm, even though he wasn’t expecting anything better – and then waited patiently for him to be done using his body, so that he could’ve finally collapsed against the cold floor, trying to recover his breath quickly.

He watched him sitting next to him, staring into space, and he almost felt sorry for what he had done.

Almost.

But it would’ve been pointless, because there was no going back, because there was nothing he could’ve or would’ve done to change things, and because he was still grateful to him for those few moments of distractions he had been allowed.

“You were thinking about him, weren’t you?” Hikaru murmured, without looking at him.

Yuto wished he could’ve lied to him, tell him that he didn’t think about Keito anymore, that his abandonment wasn’t burning on his skin, that it didn’t go with him every moment of his day like a shadow, but he knew that Yaotome wasn’t going to believe him anyway.

“Yes.” he whispered, crouching on the floor, freezing, clawing his palms trying not to cry.

He would’ve expected for Hikaru to get up and leave him there alone without saying anything else, or maybe just yelling that he made him sick.

But the elder leant over him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, resting his cheek against his back.

“I love you.” he murmured, and if Nakajima at first was surprised, then he understood the reason behind that confession, that was never going to lead to anything.

Yuto had used Hikaru to forget Keito, Hikaru had used him to forget that he was never going to love him.

Neither had won, but it was too late to recriminate, and there was nothing capable of giving them a more lasting relief.

They stayed on that floor, motionless, wrapped up in the lie of that embrace.


End file.
